Title Unknown…….

I guess I’m not over you even though you broke my heart, the fact that you broke the biggest part of me should be enough reason to move on. But you are the first person that I’ve ever loved since my family and it’s hard for me to let you go, the love that no one will ever really know. Maybe I’m being foolish for still loving the man that broke my heart into pieces so many times before. Maybe you are the one that I’m suppose to be with or maybe I’m holding on to a dream that you’re suppose to be mine forever. Call me crazy, call me a dreamer, or call me a fool but I still have dreams about having a life with you.  This dream may just be a dream and have no reality to it but it’s a dream that I wish would still come true. Maybe I should let go of this dream and face reality, the reality that I’ll never be yours and only yours and you’ll never be mine and only mine. I have to find a way to deal with that, live my life, and be just fine. Even though you once meant the world to me and I once thought that what  we would never break I had to realize that it was all in my head a just a mistake. I have to let you go and that’s probably going to be the hardest thing that I’ll ever have to do, but letting myself be in constant pain is something that I just can not face myself to do. I refuse to be the person you come crying to when things with the girl you’re with doesn’t work out. I’m not a backup, I’m not the second option, I’m not the one who will sit around and let you do whatever you want an be here when you need me. This is far from the reality that I thought I would be living and it hurts my heart that it has come this far. I don’t want to drift apart but I need a break from you, a break from hearing your heartbreak, and a break from you breaking mine…….I don’t know if this is goodbye forever or goodbye for now but it’s time for me to live a life that’s for me and not revolved around you and the plans that I once had with you. Time for me to face my fears and reality become a better me, so that if we are meant to be than I’ll be the me that I need to be so that it’ll be the happy ending that I always thought it would be……….

Advertisements